hey u!!!!

seriously said, i write this entry with anger...until today, I'm trying my best so why don't you???!!!! you broke our promise, I still can forgive you. maybe you did it unconsciously but please try to understand why I'm doing that. I'll not tell you the personal problem if I can handle it myself. Anyway I never regret to have you as my friends....we use to be together so it's okay (just a bit disappointed). there are few things that I don't like people to do neither they are my friends nor my family.

especially disturb my privacy, I know this is hostel and I'm not supposed to talk about privacy, but I still think that privacy is everywhere. even you are in hostel, you still need to take care of others' privacy. seriously, this matter make me feel annoyed when people don't know how to do it!!! for example, you are doing your personal works and suddenly your friends come and see what are you doing!!! OMG, just leave me alone!!!! please, try to put yourself in this condition, what will you feel?????? pissed off????!!! so I am!!!

 don't disturb my time if you don't want me to do so.....this will make my mood change immediately!!! I can help you anytime anywhere but please be aware with what I'm doing....just imagine if you need someone's help and make his or her feel annoyed.....is that okay???

one more thing, I don't like people who are trying to hide their feeling (it is not about love). if you feel uncomfortable with me straight to the point don't try to play hide and seek here because I'm not interested with it. if you want to play you can play with kids not me....if you don't want to be my friend anymore, just frankly speaking with me, don't make such that face when you meet me. 

fuhhh... i think that's all for today...maybe pray can help me in this problem. i know everyone is not perfect but please try our best!!! i think you all use this concept in your study, as a slave to Allah, in family why don't use it as well in your friendship???? it's a waste if you don't try to apply this in your life and remember appreciate others like they appreciate you.

p/s: kak diej, it's quite a long time not see you...love ya.

       cik wangi: best friend forever. lots of stories that i can remember now...hehehehe

       minn, sarah, ekin : you are the best friend ever!!!!

ABC of friendship!!!

Accepts you as you are

Believe in "you"

Calls you just to say 'hi"

Doesn't give up on you

Envisions the whole of you, even the unfinished parts

Forgive your mistakes

Gives unconditionally 

Helps you. 

Invites you over

Just want to "be" with you

Keep you close at heart

Loves you for who you are

Makes a difference in your life

Never judges

Offers support

Picks you up

Quiets your fears

Raises your spirits

Says nice things about you

Tells you the truth when you need to hear it

Understands you

Values you

Walks beside you

X-plain thing you don't understand

Yells when you won't listen

Zaps you back to reality.

This is an appreciation to all my friends, I know that all of us trying our best to be the best friends everyone ever had but we are humans who always make mistakes and can't be perfect as we all wish. I'm proud to have you all as my friends because Allah choose the best among His slave to be with me....i never want to lost all of you but I know that one day we have to. Remember our sweet memories and make the opposite one as your experience to find the better one. I'll always for our success...we're like siblings and seriously I'll miss the moment we are together. 

hidup ini...

salam semua, hari nie ceria tak??? kat Gombak nie asyik hujan je, hujan nikmat katakan. tajuknya "hidup ini", rasa macam satu keluhan pun ada tapi mengeluh tue tak baik sebenarnya. hidup nie penuh dugaan, kadang-kadang sesuatu yang kita tak jangka pun. itulah yang dikatakan kita hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan segalanya. Kadang-kadang kita fikir benda tue baik padahal tak pun. Hari nie saya exam, agak sedih sebab soalan mencabar minda tapi masih rasa bersyukur dengan hidup nie. macam-macam nikmat yang kita rasa takkanlah disebabkan satu hal je kita nak mengeluh hidup nie tak adil, betul tak???

hidup ini indah!!! semua lengkap...terima kasih Allah...ada orang cakap hidup nie tak adil sebenarnya, kenapa dia kena terima benda yang dia tak nak, susah jugak nak terangkan. betul ke hidup nie tak adil??? sangat adil sebenarnya! cube bayangkan, kita mintak rezeki yang melimpah-limpah tapi Allah bagi yang sederhana je. pada pendapat saya, adil la tue, kenapa??? sebab kalau rezeki melimpah yaki ke kaita akan berkongsi sesama umat Islam?? jangan janji je kalau rezeki banyak nak sedekah tapi bila dah banyak lupa. sebab tue la adil Allah bagi banyak tue je. jangan nak mengeluh ye.

banyak sangat nikmat yang Allah bagi kat kita....bersyukurlah. jangan sesekali mengeluh, "ala exam susah la, nape la susah sngt", "kenapalah tak cantik macam dia tue", "ala tak boleh sedekah la, rezeki tak banyak". berhenti mengeluh dan menyalahkan hidup ini, kita sebenar nye bagi alasan kan??? ala hai saya mana boleh jadi baik macam dia, susah la nak kena mesra alam, nampak tak alasan saya??? tak nak jadi baik, cakap mesra alam susah...

exam...

umm...semua org dalam bilik nie tngah mood exam...masing2 senyap je, sebelum balik cuti raya korban lagi. saya teramatlah sibuk dengan exam dan assignment. umm, betul ke sibuk sangat??? tak de la tapi kalau nak ambil masa fikir apa nak tulis tue, rasanya lebih baik tak payah kan? soalan exam semuanya mencabar minda, menyebabkan kita orang rasa tak nak jawab pon ada. hahahahahaanyway, hari nie bile "membelek" facebook saya dapat tahu kawan saya couple dengan kawan kita orang jugak, sedih nyerrr...tak tahu kenapa sedih dan rasa menyampah pon ada. haish, teenagers katakan, nak exam pon pak we kene bagi semangat tau....hahahaha. serious menyampah n geli sanagt dngan kata2 yang romantik tak bertempat. please teenagers, you all can keep your feeling for someone else in the future i beg.

susah nyerrr....

susah nye nak lafazkan maaf, susah nye nak lafazkan sayang, susah nye nak lafazkan terima kasih. semuanya susah, kita je kene tentukan sama ada nak senangkan ke tak. saya pilih untuk senangkan!!!! saya boleh buat!!!  

setiap hari pastikan anda lafazkan sayang sesama insan. (couple??? ummm x yah la nati ada ulat bulu je...) pastika anda ucapkan maaf, bukan susah pun. mugkin bukan salah kita dan mungkin salah kita tanpa kita sedari. untuk elakkan ketidaksefahaman ucapkanlah maaf sesenag anda lafaz "saya sayang awak"....susah nyer nak cakap terima kasih. mulai hari nie latih diri untuk ucapkannya walaupun anda menerima kebaikan sebesar zarah sekalipun. belajarlah untuk menghargai orang lain supay anda juga dihargai suatu hari nanti.

luck or fate???

ummm...saya percaya pada takdir dan percaya yang pekataan nasib tue tak wujud dalam hidup nie tapi kenapa keyakinan yang selama ini terpahat je dalam hati diduga??? pelik tak kalau orang tak de la study sangat tapi ya Allah markah dia lebih tinggi dari kita yang bersengkang mata nie( btol ke bersengkang mata tengok book or tengok facebook???) pelik kan?? cemburu pun ada, kata seorg teman dah memang dia gifted. alhamdullillah, depan mata dapat lihat kekuasaan Allah. hari tue masa pergi motivational talk, speaker tue ada cakap pasal time nak exam selalu je dapat wishes dari kawan-kawan "good luck", betul tak? rather then we use good luck, why not just wish "all the best and may Allah help you". sound better i think but everything is your choice because your life is your choice. sebenarnya agak sedih tapi masih bersyukur dengan kurniaan Allah untuk saya dalam urusan hidup. sape tak sedih bila kita dah berusaha mati-matian tapi apa yang kita dapat tak setimpal dengan apa yang kita hajati. it's okay, Allah test everyone He love. ingatlah ujian Allah tue sentiasa ada.....to myself, keep yourself stronger!!! without His love,I can do nothing. with His love, there is nothing I cannot do!
p/s: to my friends, I'll always pray for our success!!! 

 

sweet nye!!!

Ya Allah, sweet nye kasih sayangMu. tahu tak tadi, saya dah marah2 kat diri sendiri sebab membodohkan diri pergi disconnected dengan wireless lepas tue tak dapat connect nak salahkan Allah kenapa tak tolong saya pulak....bodoh kan??? dah la tak bersyukur dengan kurniaan Allah pada hari nie, lepas tue nak membahaskan kenapa tak tolong kita pulak.....pelik betul manusia nie(sayalah tue!) sweet ka kasih sayang Allah, baru nangis sekejap mengeluh kenapalah Dia tak tolong saya nie....terus je dapat connect dengan wireless....kalau dengan pakwe kita belum tentu dapat sesuatu dengan cepat. silap-silap terus mintak putus, "ngada-ngada punya girl, dah la tak lawa, nasib baik sudi je nak couple kalau tak letak kat bus stop pun x de org amk!" hahahaha. tapi Allah tak pandang pun rupa kita, asalkan kita ingat Dia pun dah cukup.....ya Allah, tadi hamba mempersoalkan pertolongan Mu ya Allah...ampunilah segala dosa hambaMu ini.

p/s: to my friend, ekin...thanks for this words!!!! may Allah bless u always...

my choice????

hari nie saya pergi satu program nama "take charge!". sangat seronok! tak ramai pun student yang datang. agak mengecewakan pihak penganjur la kot. ok, the main point that I've learn today is MY LIFE IS MY CHOICE. wow, dengar macam challenging je bagi saya! serius, hari nie baru tahu yang kehidupan saya adalah pilihan saya!!!! dah besar la saya nie, kene decide tentang kehidupan sendiri ye? saya tahu yang perkataan "luck" sebenarnya tak wujud dalam hidup kita, tapi hari nie baru dapat kepastian.setiap sesuatu adalah pilihan kita dan apa yang kita tak tahu itu adalah apa yang kita namakan takdir. program nie banyak sangat beri manfaat kepada kteorang! thanks to the speaker, memang bersemangat habis masa bagi talk tue....tak ngantuk pun. saya tak ngantuk tue pun dah catat rekod. dalam class hari-hari kot ngantuk. hehehehe. salah satu ayat yang saya suka dalam talk tadi adalah "no problem, no fun", betulkan? tak cantik kalau kehidupan kita tak ada warna dan corak kan? suka ke tengok kain plain je, tak kan? that's why la the speaker said "no problem no fun". dalam kehidupan nie rupa-rupanya banyak pilihan yang kita dah buat tanpa kita sedari kan? contohnya, kita pilih kan untuk datang UIA bukan untuk berkerja tanpa sijil.

kita juga pilih untuk hidup kita sekarang, kalau tak kenapa kita tak lari je kalau kita tak suka, betul tak? bagi saya, mulai hari nie sama-samalah kita membuat pilihan yang lebih baik, berfikir secara rasional dan selalu ingat Allah supaya kita selalu dibimbing olehNya. aminn....

eh, dah tua ye???

lama sangat dah tak tulis apa-apa kat blog nie. sangat sibuk dengan kehidupan baru di Gombak. mula-mula ada jugak rasa tak gembira tapi bila dah lama sikit tue dah okay. takes time katakan....hehehehe. masuk gombak means i dah memulakan pengajian peringkat ijazah. dah tua la ye????hahahaha sedihnya dah masuk puluhan...rasa macam baru semalam je belasan tahun....sekejap kan??? anyway, manusia nie memang macam tue, bila dah tak de baru tahu menghargai. ye la kan, masa umur belasan tak menghargainya baik-baik. bila dah masuk puluhan macam i nie baru la nak cakap "menyesalnye tak buat masa muda-muda dulu" kan??? tapi i tak rasa pun yang i nie tua sangat...hehehehe.

ok point post kali nie, kalau dah semakin meningkat remaja tue kan, belajar lah bertindak sebagai seorang yang berfikiran rasional. tak kan la amik degree tapi perangai macam budak-budak. betul tak????

perkataan tua nie sebenarnya mengingatkan saya tentang berapa lama lagi saya ada untuk mencapai cita-cita yang masih terbengkalai...huhuhu. cuba kita sama-sama fikir ye, amalan kita cukup ke ye??? hari-hari kita dipenuhi dengan benda bermanfaat tak??? hubungan kita macam mana??? banyak sangat soalan yang tak terjawab nie, bersediakah kita? insyaAllah kita sama-sama muhasabah diri untuk jadi yang lebih baik dari hari ke hari. jangan kita kejar amalan yang besar andaikata amalan kecil pun susah untuk dipraktikkan dalam kehidupan seharian kita...mulakan dengan sedekah di pagi hari (simple kan?)

akhir kata, are you getting older or younger???

tabahnya dia.

Alhamdulillah dah hampir sebulan kita menjalankan ibadah puasa. Sedar tak sedar dah nak habis pun bulan puasa. Lama jugak tak update blog nie, nak wish happy ramadhan pun x sempat. Sebenar bukan tak sempat, dalam hati tue rindu sanggat nak mencoretkan sesuatu tapi masalah internet nie buat sakit hati je. Ok lah. Hari tue, mak saudara saya masuk hospital, lepas tue hari-hari ler pergi hospital. Sebenarnya saya tak suka hospital tapi masih ditahap yang tak de la kritikal sangat bencinya. Yang nak menjadi kisahnya, suatu hari saya ke hospital dan ada seorang pesakit tue datang dengan ayah dia, nak jumpa doctor aje hajatnya tapi ditahan di hospital. Kesian pulak tengok diaorang dah la datang dari jauh. Ya Allah, dia memang tabah.....tak silap saya minggu lepas doctor inform yang kaki dia kena ptong sebab kanser tulang dah tahap kritikal. Sister tue masih muda dan seriously memang kesian. Dia lebih muda dari saya. Pembedahan tue akan memakan belanja yang amat besar, 30 ribu. Mungkin bagi kita jumlahnya tak seberapa tapi bagi sister tue jumlahnya sangatlah besar tambahan pula keadaan hidup dia. Sepupu saya cakap, menangis pak cik tue dengar doctor cakap 30 ribu. Sister tue pun menangis jugak, dia pun terfikir jugak mana la abah dia nak cari duit sebanyak tue. Bulan puasa nie ramai sangat yang membazir, pergi bazaar ramadhan shopping nyerrr mak aii. Tak ingat saiz perut, bila dah time berbuka tak dapat habiskan pilak. Masa shopping tadi tak ingat lepas tue buang je....kalaulah duit tue kita bantu orang macam sister yang saya cerita tadikan best. So, sama-samalah kita menngimarahkan bulan mulia nie dengan amalan-amalan soleh....contohnya bersedekah. Sedekah bukannya kena sedekah banyak pun 10 sen pun sedekah jugak tapi kalu banyak tue bagus jugak. Bila tanya orang, mereka cakap operate kanser nie tak boleh tangguh-tangguh takut nanti merebak ke lain pulak. Sama-samalah kita doakan supaya sister tue dapat mencari dana secepatnya.

berdebar,,,,

huh...macam pelik je tajuk kali nie. ok lah, lama sangat dah tak mencoretkn sesuatu, sebenarnya saya sangat sibuk. memang betul kata orang bila cuti nie la time kita nak bantu parents. memang banyak kerja kena buat tapi berbaloi. satu hal lagi saya tengah sibuk belajar memandu.....hari nie saya dinilai oleh seorang guru terlatih. Entah kenapa saya memang mudah berdebar so kali nie memng gabra sangat-sangat sampai bawak kereta pun tak betul, time belajar dulu boleh je bawak elok-elok, pelik betul la. " Nie dah terlebih gabra nie, kalau dengan jpj boleh ke tak?", adalah ayat pertama cikgu tue cakap kat saya....hehehe.

berdebar sebenarnya boleh diatasi tapi saya masih belum dpt mengatasinya lagi..harap-harap dapat atasinya...

i got no idea....

kali nie memang rasa nak tulis sesuatu. apa pendapat korang kalau kita kena alihkan seketika prinsip yang selama nie kita pegang demi menjaga hati kawan? Sesiapa yang pentingkan kawan memang akan katakan ianya sesuatu yang biasa tapi bagi yang bukan, adakah itu satu pencerobohan terhadap prinsip diri kita? ummm kadang-kadangkan pelik betul dengan insan yang berstatus sahabat nie, kita bukan tak nak jaga hati awak tapi kita ada prinsip tapi tetibe je cakap kita sombong!!!! Eeee geramnya!!!!

ok masuk bab lain pulak, satu hari tue saya pergi reunion, betul-betul nak kata la kan saya dah jadi seorang yang pelupa pada kenangan pahit.....memang tak ingat langsung. Bagi diaorang itu adalah kenangan manis tapi tidak bagi saya.....sori ye terpaksa ingatkan pulak...

days

wah...rasa sangat gembira tanpa sebab.....orang cakap "keep smiling", bila dah gembira mestilah senyum kan?? sebenarnya tak tahu nak tulis apa di blog yang sudah lama tidak divacumm nie....hehehehehe. hari tue hari ibu kan??? i wish my mum, happy mother's day n hari guru baru je lepaskan...rasa aggak janggal nak telefon semua guru2 yang penah mengajar tapi umi suruh jugak then i pon call je la....hepi teacher's day....i'll write back next week...sebenarnya bukan tak nak update blog nie tapi suddenly i got something to do n somewhere to go so...x dapat nak buat ikut yang dirancamg....

love....

hari nie tetibe je rase nak tulis pasal love.....korang rasa love tue cinta saje ke???? kat sini saya nak cerita pasal kasih sayang. love jugak dalam english nyerrr.. kenapa susah sangat orang nak tunjukkan bahawa mereka sayang akan seseorang itu? memang susah la kan kalau sampai orang tak tahu bahawa ada orang sayang dia. Allah tunjukkan rasa sayang Dia dengan nikmat dan dugaan jadi kita tau la kan. kadang-kadang rasa agak terkilan jugak dengan orang macam nie tapi bila fikir-fikir balik, saya sendiri pun x pamerkan rasa kasih terhadap orang lain jadi mengapa mengharapkan kasih dari orang? jika anda mempunyai rasa kasih sayang, tunjuklah rasa kasih tersebut agar suatu hari nanti anda tak rasa menyesal.

come on....

wow! dah lama sangat tak update blog nie. actually bukan malas ataupun tak de idea tapi busy. rasanya sekarang dah boleh start berblogging balik kot because it seems like everyone is going to be okay. tengok blog cik wangi, banyak je cerita dia.....best sangat baca. InsyaAllah nak cuba update blog nie sekerap yang mungkin.

backbiting

Having a Basic Theme of Quran, is a wonderful time when I studied at CFS. I love that moment because I learnt lots of things. One thing that I remember until today is about backbiting. Actually I don’t fully understand why backbiting is being a habit among our community. For women, this activity just likes their mouth exercise. (I’m a girl, not woman). After a few minutes think about the history of backbiting, I can conclude that it is created because of unsatisfied among us. Am I right? It is not only about satisfaction, it is also about respect, being happy for others, and so on. In simple words it is all about relationship among human being themselves. Frankly speaking, I have all the causes of backbiting in myself. People might think that it is normal to have that kind of feeling (unsatisfied) towards others. In Islamic perspective, being happy for the others’ happiness is a good dead, so backbiting in Islam is illegal. In my life, seriously I can get out from this situation. I’m trying to run, jump or maybe walk as fast as I can to avoid myself to backbiting others. Please pray for my strength. As we can see it is a bad habit nowadays but I’m not afraid if one day it will become a “culture” in our community. I’m trying to avoid this habit. Seriously, one day I’ll make myself hate this habit! People cannot respect others, it make me sick! I’ll keep talking about them if I’m not satisfied! I’m happy for them if they do good dead or get their happiness. Everybody has his own opinion about this life, try to respect their opinions and it settle. What will happen if I don’t respect yours? Are you happy? Or maybe you might have a party on that? Think about that! Seriously, it makes my head stuck when I think of this small matter. Sometimes, I think I’m not a good friend. I want to be friend with everyone but seriously it seems possible for me. One  group talk like this and the other one is like that. I agree with everybody so what should I do? I think I should frankly speaking with the person who I didn’t satisfied with, then it will settle. (I’ll think about that). Let’s avoid backbiting in our daily life. I think that we could change backbiting as our exercise, maybe we can have chewing gum for the mouth exercise. It is better than backbiting.

having an Islamic group is better.

hepi holiday

since a long time I didn't update my blog. I really miss to do that but I'm quite busy. Guess what I'm doing?? I'm busy watching movie, online, helping my parents with all the chores and so on. Believe me or not, I don't eat as much as I eat in hostel. That's mean, I can having my proper diet. having a long holiday, what are you going to do? Seriously it will make you bored. I keep thinking about what I'm going to do since I had my final examination but I still do not find the answers. I'm wishing all my friends out there, happy holiday and I really hope that you will have a meaningful holiday. There are many things you can do. My beloved lecturer advised us to do something that is meaningful for us in the future, for example take sewing class, cooking class or anything else you think might be worth in the future. She said that we can earn more money if we know to do several things instead of one thing only. We can't expect what's going to happened in ten years, so it is better for us to get prepared. If we don't get jobs we still can survive with what we have learn. So my little advice to me and all you, work hard to get a meaningful holiday. May Allah bless you and keep smiling.

let's learn how to make it!!!

 

exam!!!!!

Exam fever is coming!!! Wish all the best and good luck to all my friends. Do all the best. To my group members, to have you all is such a big gift from Allah. When the semester was begun, we all felt so sad like there is no more hope but see! There is something He wants to show us. We get the truly friendship that we never find before. I love you all with all of my heart. You are like my sisters. Help me when I got difficulty. You even hear all my problems. Thanks for supporting me for the whole semester. Sorry to say I don’t be your best friend and I don’t help you as much as you are. You all teach me lots of things that I’ll never forget. You teach me to accept all the things that happened to me. You teach me not to sleep after dawn prayer. You teach me to spend time to go to talks. You teach me that I am lucky to have everything that others don’t. You also teach me that friendship is pure relationship. You teach me that there is not abnormal to not having boyfriend. To state all what you all teach me is very impossible because there is thousands and thousands of lessons. Allah’s will, I will never forget that. Thank Allah because know I realize why this happened to me. Everything happened for a reason. There are lots of things I realize. For sure, Allah has “programmed” our life strategically until there is no mistake. If you think that you have done mistakes, think it twice. 

take one each!!!!

special????!!!

Last night, I have a group discussion with my friends. Suddenly one of them said, “nothing special happened in my life”. I got shocked but I’m not screaming. When I went back to my dormitory, I thought about those words. Is there nothing special in my life??? No, definitely not. To my friend, remember Allah has created us different from others so that we go through our lives happily. If you think that there are nothings special in your life, don’t be sad because you might not know what is special in your life. Frankly speaking, everything happened in our lives are special.

• ·         You are special because there is someone who loves you more than I love you, He is our creator, Allah. You are special!!

• ·         You have a very happy family. Others might not have it so you are special!!!

• ·         You have brothers, sisters and friends who love you and appreciate you. Not all people are loved and respected so you are special.

• ·         You are chosen by Allah to live in a peaceful country so this is special.

• ·         Remember all the presents from Allah and you will say that everything happened in my life is special and you are special.

Maybe there is someone who disagrees with my opinion but for me special is universal. Anything can be special if you think that is special. Happy family, happy life and so on are special for me because I think not all the people in this world have them and they in that situation..home sweet home. This is the place to find happiness. If one doesn’t find it here, one doesn’t find it anywhere. See, you find you happiness and be grateful because you find it and you are special!!!

To my friends especially Minnie, I’m really grateful to have you as my friends. For me, you are special!!! Sorry for can’t answer your simple question, “am I special?” and stop saying “there is nothing special in my life”